Welcome back to the Insider Journal series on expanding our belief to achieve more than we’ve ever imagined. This series is anchored in Ephesians 3:20-21:

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.”

Last time, we hit “delete” on control, exploring how our grip on outcomes steals peace and blocks God’s “more” for us. Today, in Part 3, we’re unpacking this: Appearances drive us out of what we want because needing to be seen a certain way gaslights our own soul. How does chasing the right “look” send our peace to war and rob us of true agency?

Let me pull back the curtain on what it’s like to succeed someone as incredible as Bob Shank. Well, it doesn’t have to be that hard, if you are yourself. In the early years of coaching and then leading in TMP, I had this all wrong. My impressions were that if I controlled everyone’s viewpoint of me, they’d get behind the momentum of Shank 2.0. I didn’t literally think this; it was an invisible gas that showed up with me pretending perfection. I was overly subscribed to the, “fake it ’til you make it” mindset. You don’t need me to list the accolades of why we admire Bob. Perfect marriage. Ubiquitously admired in evangelical circles. Perfect children and family. Successful in this life and rewards for the next. But that’s idol worship. And Bob would be the first to tell me that. And he did. “Be yourself” was some early coaching from Bob that took me a while to let “sync” in. The truth is, being myself has disappointed those who want Shank 2.0. But I noticed a big difference in my heart — I was no longer at war with myself trying to be someone I wasn’t while trying to hold everyone’s view of me.  

Does this make sense to you? Have you ever thought maybe trying to make sure you are admired, respected, followed, adored, etc. is actually putting the vice grip on you? My experience is that our hearts lose peace and go to war when we try to control how others view us, insisting on being seen a certain way — successful, spiritual, unflappable. It’s like gaslighting our own souls, because we know on the inside what’s really going on while ignoring God’s whispers. Proverbs 29:25 nails it:

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”

Yet, in our high-stakes world of boardrooms, we chase appearances to protect egos or secure opportunities, leading to inauthentic decisions, relational strain, and sidelined Kingdom impact. We tell ourselves it’s about influence, but it’s unbelief — doubting our identity in Christ is enough. As busy executives balancing eternal perspective with earthly demands, chasing this facade steals our agency, turning us into performers instead of purpose-driven stewards, blocking the “immeasurably more” because we’re too busy curating an image rather than living authentically in His power. The impostor thieves our peace all while we think we are doing the best thing possible.

So, what’s the action? Restore your heart’s peace by ditching the facade and anchoring in your true identity. In Sessions 8 and 9 of The Master’s Program, we coach on identity — recognizing how people-pleasing drains our reserves for real impact. You can achieve this practically by working through these actions:

Audit your “appearance traps” by journaling about situations where you’ve been tempted to curate how you’re seen (like that networking event you just attended.) Ask, “What’s the cost to my peace?” Lean into Galatians 1:10:

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” 

Coach yourself by reframing: pray daily, “God, let me love who you made me to be—beloved and equipped.” Start small — share a vulnerability this week with a trusted peer or coach, inviting honest feedback. 

For those of us leading teams, this means modeling authenticity: celebrate failures as growth in meetings, fostering cultures where eternal impact trumps polished perfection.

The resolution? Release the need to be seen a certain way. This restores peace and unleashes God’s power. When I leaned into Bob’s advice and embraced my unique wiring, my heart settled, and agency returned as I pursued Kingdom goals without the impostor’s weight. Dropping the facade didn’t expose weakness — it fueled transformation, expanding influence beyond my staged dreams.

Here’s your call-to-action: This week, spot one area where appearances gaslight your soul — maybe a meeting or social media post. Release it in prayer, choose authenticity, and journal the peace shift. Share your commitment with a TMP alum for mutual encouragement.

In the end, Friends, chasing appearances doesn’t elevate us — it ensnares our souls and steals our peace. Yet, trusting God’s intentional design of us restores our peace, turning our stories into possibilities of His immeasurable glory. See you next time for Part 4.

In your corner,
Jeff

____
Discover the locations of our new cohort launches! CLICK HERE