Hey there, friends of Priority Living’s The Master’s Program! Welcome back to the Insider Journal.

We’re in the third part of our seven-part series on raising a family to follow Jesus. Whether you’re single, childless, raising young kids, or an empty nester, Matthew 12:46-50 reminds us we all have a family to lead: “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Today, we’re focusing on parenting adult children—shifting from control to influence by living a faith adventure, showing them God’s power. Let’s start with a story from my journey.

Three of my four kids are now adults, building lives of their own. I remember being in their shoes—at eighteen, I couldn’t wait to leave home. By nineteen, I had proposed to Heather, and at twenty, we were married and living 86 miles from our parents. Just four months in, Sunday dinners with family were a distant memory. I hadn’t finished college, had no solid plan to provide—but I was determined to launch into my own life. Now I watch my kids at the same stage, stepping out and making big choices, and I find myself asking: Who will they become? What will they believe? Will they follow Jesus for themselves? And here’s the question that used to puzzle me most—how much of that can I actually control?

Sahlil Bloom’s book The Five Types of Wealth includes a chart Bob Shank recently shared with me: 95% of the time you’ll spend with your kids is over by age eighteen. That’s a gut punch. The hands-on season of parenting—of forming, coaching, and daily shaping—ends quickly. After that, your role shifts to more of a consultant. You’re no longer in control of their day-to-day decisions. That’s history. Now, you watch—sometimes with hope, sometimes with anxiety—as they begin building their own lives. Will they follow Jesus?

Proverbs 22:6 says,

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

But this verse is often misunderstood, as if it promises a guaranteed outcome based solely on our parenting. It’s only half the equation. The other half will be our children’s decisions. It speaks to our responsibility to lay a strong foundation, but our kids still have to choose how they’ll build on it. The disciplines we instill—worshipping God, attending church, reading Scripture, and basic routines like brushing their teeth—are providing a foundation to operate from. Even godly men like Samuel had sons, Joel and Abijah, who turned away. Our job is to train, but their response is theirs.

Let me share one key ingredient that’s often missing from the lives of many Jesus-following parents—yet it can make a lifelong impact: a faith that involves visible risk and reliance on God’s power. Without that, your kids might see Jesus as a pagan idol—like a comforting genie—rather than the living God who calls us to glorify Him. This is a powerful opportunity to model what authentic, courageous faith looks like—not just for a season, but throughout your entire life.

So, how do we influence adult children to follow Jesus? It’s no longer about control—it’s about living a faith adventure that shows God’s power in and through you. In Priority Living’s The Master’s Program, Session 4’s “Active Parenting for Eternal Significance” casts you as the Chief Spiritual Officer of your home, coaching even adult kids toward faith.

Here are four steps to influence through Scripture and adventure: 

#1 Keep Reading Scripture
Even with adult children, keep God’s Word central in your connection. Send them a verse, a prayer, or simply ask, “What’s God showing you right now?” Keep faith conversations alive, and let the spirit of the Shema—talking about God in everyday life—remain part of your relationship.

#2 Model Risky Faith
Live out the calling to “love God, love people, and make disciples” in ways that require visible trust in Him. That might mean giving generously to a Kingdom cause, joining a mission trip, or boldly sharing your faith. It could also look like making everyday choices that demonstrate your reliance on God. Let your kids see you trusting Him in uncertainty—and watch how His power becomes real to them through your life.

#3 Ask, Don’t Tell
Good consultants lead with questions. Shift from directing to asking: “How’s God working in your life?” or “What’s a challenge you’re facing?”

#4 Stay on the Adventure
Don’t hit pause on your faith journey once the kids are gone (and don’t wait for them to leave to start!) Pursue God’s calling—start a ministry, mentor someone, or take a bold step of obedience. Your ongoing faith adventure is a living testimony that Jesus fills gaps no one else can.

Proverbs 22:6 isn’t a guaranteed formula for your kids’ adult faith—it’s a call to model foundational disciplines early on. I’ve seen this up close: all of my mentor’s children and grandchildren are among the Godliest people I know. Honestly, that’s put pressure on me at times. But I’ve had to release the weight of my kids’ faith decisions determining my peace. Most of my influence happened before they turned eighteen.

Today, I look in the mirror and see someone made in God’s image, saved for His purpose, and called to live His adventurous mission with boldness. When I left a secure career and a beautiful home to follow a Kingdom calling, my kids saw God show up and provide. Even great parents can have children who stray—but living a risky, God-dependent life creates a compelling and lasting testimony for Jesus.

Your job isn’t to control the outcome. It’s to live the adventure.

If your kids think you’re Jesus-crazy, you’re in the right place. Think about the legacy you’re building. When your adult children look back, will they remember a parent who lived a safe, comfortable faith or one who had God’s power in them, trusting God in bold ways?

I want my kids to say, “Dad showed me Jesus—not just through His Word, but through a life of adventure.”

In your corner,
Jeff

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