I’ll bet that in your household, there are things that are not allowed to be watched, things that are not allowed to be said, and even things that are not allowed to  be eaten. Boundaries are important in building and maintaining a good human according to God’s plan.  But are you holding the line on requirements for your kids spiritually?

In The Master’s Program, we talk about leadership influence. Nowhere is your leadership more crucial than in your own home. You’re not just providing of food, shelter, and safety – you’re the Chief Spiritual Officer of your family. You’re the thermostat. What is the spiritual temperature in your home? That’s on you.

Proverbs 22:6 tells us to, “Train up a child in the way he should go.” Notice it doesn’t say “suggest” or “model” or “wish.” It says “train”. Think about that word. Training requires direction, sometimes forceful direction. It’s about holding the reins and guiding – even when there’s resistance.

Here’s our base camp rule: as long as you’re living in our house or having bills paid by us, church attendance and family devotions aren’t optional. Too harsh? Let me ask you this – do you let your kids opt out of school? Dental appointments? Showers (not if you have sons, right)? 

Why would their spiritual formation be any different?

But here’s the key – different stages require different approaches. When they’re under your roof or your cell phone plan, you have the authority to set spiritual boundaries. You’re responsible for their spiritual inputs. Once they’re adults, you shift to consultative influence. But until then? You’re the trainer.  Including when the grandkids are in for a sleepover.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting. We live in an emotional economy. Every interaction with your kids is either a deposit or a withdrawal. The challenging moments when you’re enforcing a boundary – those are potential emotional withdrawals where they don’t want to do something. You need to make sure you’ve got enough in the account to cover those checks.

Your biggest deposits? Best Days and making memories together. These are the breadcrumb trails that lead back to the undeniable proof that mom and dad love them. When your thirteen-year-old is sitting in youth group thinking, “I can’t believe they’re making me do this,” those deposits of love can remind them that dad and mom are for me.

Think about it – what was the spiritual temperature in your childhood home? What deposits did your parents make that kept you connected, even through the rebellious years? Or what do you wish they had done differently?

For me, I’d point to the deep deposits that came from my Youth Pastor, Doug Mauldin. During my years under his leadership, even when he had to correct me, I was never questioned that he loved me.

Mindset – you’re playing for the 35-year-old version of your kids. You’re not just raising them or keeping them alive; you’re raising future adults who will need a solid spiritual foundation to navigate life. Your leadership today, even when it feels uncomfortable or unpopular, is setting the template for their tomorrow.

So, here’s my challenge: Plan a Best Day this week. It doesn’t have to be elaborate – maybe ice cream and a sunset, or that hiking trail they love. Make a deposit. Because when you’re making that withdrawal, you want that emotional bank account to be full.

Remember, you’re not just the providing adult – you’re the Chief Spiritual Officer. Set the temperature. Make the deposits. Lead with purpose.

Your kids’ spiritual foundation? That’s on you. Make it count.

In your corner,
Jeff

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