Often, the relationship that gets the least attention is the most important.  If our relationship with our spouse is truly the most important one, then wouldn’t our investment strategy with him or her be fully in play?  Why do so many married people default to putting their spouse last?

The default state of marital investment has many culprits. We are busy people and can easily take our spouse for granted, rationalizing our lack of priority with excuses such as, “Of course, she knows I love her,” or “My kids need me more right now.” The theory may be to sacrifice the investment to the most important person because they are also the most understanding. This is a fool’s choice.

In The Master’s Program, Session 4, we discuss the enemy’s schemes. With few resources, the enemy can be effectively destructive by undermining marriage.  Your Kingdom effectiveness depends on a solid marriage. The enemy knows this and targets accordingly.

One of many upgrades we suggest is to know your spouse’s love language and give it to them!

A love language is how a person prefers to receive love from and to express love to others. There are five types of Love Languages:

• Quality Time
• Acts of Service
• Words of Affirmation
• Gifts
• Touch

This simple strategy can be challenging to employ. We tend to use the love language we connect with, which can be frustrating because our efforts don’t result in our spouse feeling loved.

This was the case for Nancy and me early in our marriage. My love language is Words of Affirmation, so I would use Words of Affirmation to show her my love. The problem is that her love language is Acts of Service.  

Once I was introduced to love languages, I could not believe how easy it was to demonstrate love. All I needed was a honey-do list and some intentionality.  

Nancy’s response blew my mind! It was immediate and positive. I don’t understand it, but I continue to list ways to serve her so she feels my love.

The first step is knowing your spouse’s love language. Most people don’t know their spouse’s love language. Read more about each love language and ask your spouse which resonates best with them. 

Your best Kingdom asset, next to God, is your spouse, so invest in them. If you want an upgrade, know your spouse’s love language and strategize ways to express it!

In your corner,
Rob

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