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Dear Marketplace Friend,

Last week, the consumer-driven society shifted after the Dinner of the Year finished on Thursday. The left-overs conundrum – do you recreate the original plate from yesterday, or recycle the turkey as sandwiches? – paled into the insignificance as society rearmed for the holiday never endorsed by Congress but recognized by most: Black Friday landed, at a mall or online vendor near you…

As life marches forward – through periods of pandemics and wars of terror – there is a cultural demand you’ll have to engage in the next four weeks. If you have any progeny beneath your Gen¹ status, the challenge will build to a crescendo by December 24^th. Gen² Kids around the tree – or, grown kids with their own Gen³s in tow – will be watching and waiting for the “big reveal:” what did you get them for Christmas? Anguish may disrupt your holiday heart as the reality of that moment punctuates your family relationships for yet-another year.

If you’ll promise you won’t spill these beans to my family, I’ll let you in on a secret. If you have a generational downline to service next month, the next four minutes will arm you with some artillery that will fire-through the incessant societal wish-lists and allow you to come out of this retail battleground with a significant “win” to cap an otherwise crazy year.

Here’s what my significant unders (Cheri is my significant other; kids and grandkids are my significant unders) are going to open around this year’s Christmas tree. Each will receive an envelope, addressed to them, personally, from me. What’s inside?

Three things of value will pass from me to them. From least-valuable to priceless, here’s the inventory inside.

First on the list (but least valuable, given the other two): cash. I watched for years as my best-guess for a gift was unwrapped under the tree… then returned the next day to the mall. My best-shot at gifts were most often the wrong thing, or the wrong size or the wrong color. My alternative: the gift cards that are accepted everywhere (issued by the US Gov’t, with pictures of famous people). They never give that back, but they turn it into meaningful acquisitions after Christmas, during the off-price days that make the same bucks go much further. Shanks don’t pay pre-Christmas retail.

Next in order of value: a personal note – from me to them – that is individually focused on the recipient. It’s my chance to call out valuable traits of character that celebrate their best-self and demonstrates that we’re watching their emerging maturity as a notable cause for parental pride. In biblical terms, it’s a parental/patriarchal blessing. Word is out: they save those notes – given over the course of years – and they never go out-of-style. Priceless.

The high-point will be a “gift card” that rounds out the contents of the envelope. It’s only redeemable on the terms published on the card. What is it? It’s a personalized promise for a Best Day with Bob-o.

What’s a “Best Day?” It’s imagined across generations; George Strait (now 71) put the idea to music in 2000 (get a Kleenex and read his lyrics here) and challenged dads. Taylor Swift (now 34) used the same title to sing her own autobiographical version in 2008 (lyrics here) to celebrate her mom. 

In our clan, this Best Day business was not a knee-jerk reaction to a pop ballad. These songs – and myriad examples across regional and generational differences – prove a solid fact: the gift of focused time and relational communication have the power to instill memories that cannot be “bought” with a package delivered to your front porch in the holiday run-up.

The coupon in the envelope? It’s their claim to a Best Day with Bob-o. Time, place and activity are their prerogative. They tell me their dream day – for just the two of us – and that gives me the track to run on to make their dream come true. Dreams fulfilled become memories instilled… and that’s the ultimate gift I want to pass along as 2023 ends and 2024 opens with a calendar of possibility.

What are you getting your Significant Unders this year?

Bob Shank