It’s an old Scottish saying, widely repeated: Confession is good for the soul. That’s validated in practice, constantly. Denial of the truth is toxic; admission of what’s real is life-giving. Allow me to practice that for a few minutes while the two of us have this encounter: I really like the benefits of being privileged. Are you bold enough to admit that you do, as well?
On multiple fronts, through the course of my days, I’m in relational encounters with corporate entities in which I derive desirable treatment because of my status. In case you’re just entering the dialogs of life, “status” is what you’re awarded based on what’s usually called “loyalty.” And the only loyalty that is logged – in our commercial world – is accrued through frequent transactions.
You could be a serial killer, but if you fly 250,000 miles on the same carrier every year, you can reach the top-tier of their elite community. Just imagine: wanted by the authorities, but awarded first-class upgrades because of “status.”
It’s true: I’m uber-elite. With American Airlines, I’m Executive Platinum for life (9.5 million miles to date). Regarding Marriott Hotels, put me down as Titanium Elite (again, ‘til death parts us). At the airport, Hertz brings the car to me because I’m Platinum. Gold card at Starbucks; the list goes on and on as the retail world seeks to suck me into long-term commitment. They’ve figured out how to punch my buttons, and they get punched a lot. Is that a problem?
One of my dominant challenges is the constant tension between preference and deference. Has that ever been an issue for you? Has there ever been a time when it wasn’t?
To be clear: the two postures are mutually exclusive. Momentary flirtation isn’t the deal; the involuntary posturing does more to expose the reality than any Sunday-school level declarations might suggest.
What’s “preference?” In practical terms, it refers to an advantage that is given to one person – or, a category of people – over someone else.
In contrast, there’s “deference.” By one definition, that involves yielding to someone else’s opinions, wishes or needs out of respect for that person.
The opposing forces – preference vs deference – define the nature of life, from our earliest conscious connections each day to the moment each night when we kill the screen and close our eyes. The competition is unrelenting. Constantly – from the two-lanes-to-one onramp at the freeway to the dreaded rear-of-plane middle-seat assignment, ratcheting from winning to losing makes every waking moment a confrontation of competition. If someone is invited to go first, we’re inclined to step-up.
The Twelve were more like us than we’re likely to admit. Jesus picked flawed guys (the only pool He had to draw from!) and demonstrated the stretch involved for mere mortals to aspire to replicate the life of the Almighty, on assignment from Heaven on His mission to Earth.
It was near the end of His three-year ministry when James and John had their mom intervene with Jesus to get them top-tier status in the Kingdom pecking-order: “In Your Kingdom, please let my two sons sit in places of honor next to you…” (Matthew 20:21). Get those guys a Platinum Card.
Jesus never missed the chance to deliver eternal truth amidst the jockeying that often consumes life. His challenge to the Apostles:
“You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” — Matthew 20:25-28
Here’s the caption: deference now, preference later. He came as a servant – the ultimate deferential figure in any room – and showed how it’s best done. He’s now on the Throne and will receive – forever – the preference that is rightly extended to Him.
The amazing invitation He gave them – the Twelve – and to us: to the extent that we are deferential to the people in our Earth lives, today, we’ll be elevated to preference status when the Eternal Kingdom unfolds. Earth Kings need to enjoy their perks now; they won’t last. The eternal-lifetime elevated status of today’s live-like-Jesus servant-leaders is a recognition that could never be bought; only earned.
What could I do for you today?
Bob Shank
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Very nice. I think I will adopt the “what can I do for you today” attitude. Simple but keeps you on track.
Hey Cliff: you’re on that wave-length, already! Keep it up!
I try to end every encounter – live, Zoom, phone – with that summation. “How can I be of service to you today?” keeps my focus where it needs to be.
Happy Easter, my friend!
I am passing Signpost #74 on the way to the final destination of Signpost #80 or #90. I’m realizing my favorite jacket doesn’t fit anymore—not because it shrunk, but because I grew, or more likely the style has faded. It served its purpose, kept me warm, made me look cool-ish—but now it’s tight in the shoulders and worn out in places.
Signpost somewhere in eighties is where I probably will untether. It’s the destination—not a rest stop, not a scenic overlook. This is where I show up unarmored. No backup outfit. Just me, re-formed and ready.
But in the meantime, I relish the notion that I can continue to serve.
Bob, As always, “spot on”. “How can I serve you today?” is a memorable phrase. I am going to work at adopting and using it too. Aloha and mahalo nui loa.